Domestic Violence in the Church

Leave a comment

Marital abuse is a significant issue in Christian circles. Consider this quote from biblical counselors Julie Ganschow and Bill Schlacks and their new book, A Biblical Counselor’s Approach to Marital Abuse.

Reports and concerns about domestic violence have surged to the forefront in our communities and churches. Since the #metoo movement and the stories of hyper-headship have come to light, more victims than ever before are coming forward with stories of abuse in their own homes. Statistics reveal that “Every nine seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.” My research indicates that the prevalence of domestic violence is the same in the church. At the time of this writing (Summer, 2018), 98% of the counseling taking place in our biblical counseling center is comprised of couples who cited “marital issues,” or “the need for marital counseling” on their paperwork. Astonishingly, 98% of that group of counselees are abusers or victims of abuse.

Julie Ganschow directs a biblical counseling center in KC, MO. The ministry is set-up to take people from all over the greater metro area and from a variety of evangelical churches. Her research is derived from that context.

I am a biblical counselor as well, but work primarily within the confines of my own church. To receive biblical counseling in my church a couple would have to agree to attend my church. My research into the area of domestic violence within the church is far too limited to claim a 98% abuse rate.

I am able to say that over the last few years I’ve had more than a few contacts from women within my church who are friends with women in other churches or no church at all seek counsel on how to help their friends in abusive situations. I’ve also had one recent case of a young woman who did come to our church for help with domestic violence but her husband refused to take it seriously-a common MO for an abuser. All this to say that even within my limited experience I can verify the problem certainly exists within the church.

I am grateful for Julie and Bill’s book that provides a roadmap for reunification in the Christ-centered path of the Gospel. Their four-phased approach includes recognition, repentance, and when possible reconciliation, and reunification of the couple.

Recognition is when both the abuser and his victim understand that what has taken place in their relationship is abuse.

Repentance is when the abuser admits and recognizes that he has sinned without blame-shifting, rationalization or justification. Most importantly, he has a change of heart about his sin. He no longer desires to demonstrate power, control, and anger in his life and begins to address the sin in his heart.

Reconciliation includes supervised interaction, supervised dating and couple’s counseling.

Reunification is how the couple is gradually reunited.

Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this process for a great deal of counseling takes place in each phase.

It should also be pointed out that abuse is on a continuum ranging from verbal fights and intimidation to domestic violence of the physical and sexual types. It should also be pointed out that men can also be the victims of domestic abuse although it is far more common that the man is the perpatrator.

I recommend A Biblical Counselor’s Approach to Martial Abuse. 

I also recommend, The Heart of Domestic Abuse: Gospel Solutions for Men Who Use Control and Violence in the Home by Chris Moles.

Link to Reigning Grace Counseling Center in KC, MO (Julie Ganschow, director)

Link to Chris Moles Peaceworks (ministry to men who are abusers)

Both books are well documented and feature a bibliography with other links. If you know someone especially in the church in an abuse situation take them to these resources and the other resources listed in the books.

41tCununvbL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_

51xXk62bcSL._SX324_BO1,204,203,200_

Advertisements

The Constitution, Protect It Or Destroy It

Leave a comment

The President swore to uphold the Constitution not ignore it or destroy it. Good stuff here from fellow blogger billover70.

billover70

Daniel,

I see that you expressed an opinion that executive orders are constitutional.  In order for something to be constitutional, I suppose that it would be found somewhere in the US Constitution. I have attempted to find the information from which your opinion may have been formed. Please help me locate the Article and Section that vests a Presidential power of “executive orders” that establishes laws.

I am a bit confused because Article I, Section 1 states: “All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.” I thought that “All” indicated a totality. Then there is that expression, “legislative powers”. I looked in one dictionary and found that the noun “legislation” meant, “The making or giving of laws”. Since the adjective, “legislative” is used to describe the powers of Congress, I have been led to understand that, “All legislative powers herein…

View original post 188 more words

Attila, You Are on the Wrong Side of History

Leave a comment

History and Hobby

Artist’s rendition of Huns crossing a river, 451 A.D.

hunok_cikk

The Huns are largely forgotten now but in the 5th Century after Christ they were the terrorists of Europe.

They didn’t strap bombs to themselves nor were they motivated by a fanatical brand of Islam but they were terrorists and briefly, empire builders.

The Huns emerged from the Eurasian Steppe and were welded together in a coalition of sorts under their most famous leader; a leader known in history as Attila THE Hun, with the emphasis on the definite article “the” as if there were no other Huns.

The Huns were a horse people and as such were renown as horse archers. Under Attila’s leadership the Huns turned their considerable talents with the bow into a loose empire that consisted not only of themselves but of also a number of subjected German tribes. By 451 they were well into Gaul (modern…

View original post 639 more words

A Message In Search Of Messengers

Leave a comment

The popular interpretation of “the separation of church and state” is 100% bogus as my fellow blogger Bill points out here.

billover70

For a number of years now, many folks have been fretting over the word, “God”. That’s with a capital G. They seem to feel oppressed, offended and relegated to second class citizenship if they hear it or see it written. This is especially true if the expression emanates from anyone remotely connected with a governmental entity. This would include people like city councilmen, public school educators and politicians. To those so obsessed, the use of that word, or any term suggesting something like a prayer, is almost a disqualification from office.

The basis of this angst is the clause, “wall of separation between church and state”. Some people believe it to be contained in the US Constitution. That is not so. The original Constitution does tell us that no religious test shall ever be required of anyone who holds office in the federal government. Further, the First Amendment states that…

View original post 500 more words

Truth is Unconstitutional

Leave a comment

Another guest blog today from a thoughtful and articulate gentleman.

billover70

Retirement has provided time to read things for myself instead of knowing little more about our country’s history  than what can be found in school books, and what other people have said. It turns out that those efforts to satisfy personal curiosity have led to an understanding of Thomas Jefferson’s warning:

“A nation that expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of society, expects what never was and never will be”…. By ignorance, of course, he meant the absence of knowledge.

Please allow the offering of an example that has an application to current events.

As most are probably aware, folks with certain spiritual persuasions are often vociferously reminded that public expressions of those beliefs must be constrained in the public square and definitely withheld from the minds of our youth in their public education.

Now let’s suppose that a public official was invited to present an address…

View original post 199 more words

Anger Abounds in the Heart of Fools

1 Comment

Guest blog from a friend and seminary student.

Thr3 Times Denied

Image

As I begin this series, I would like to open it with a word of prayer:

Father, may you wash us again this day by your Word – may you convict our hearts that our minds may be set and renewed by the faithfulness of your Word proclaimed; that we might walk unto it as a lamp unto our feet, as a guide to life, for Your Word is utterly sufficient. Cause us to bask deeply in the richness of your mercies revealed to us – yet also Your firm truths. These truths are hard, yet nonetheless, utterly beautiful and transformative if we humble ourselves. Allow Your Spirit to move, as only it can, causing faithfulness and repentance among God’s people. It is in Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

The scriptures account to several mannerisms by which one can be labeled a fool. A fool willingly forsakes the marriage covenant…

View original post 542 more words

Perspective 05/15/2014

Leave a comment

I’ve been avoiding this topic not because I do not care but because I do not know how to write about it and hold my temper and so would probably not say anything useful. Our media will spend tons of time on a stupid homosexual kiss and virtually nothing when it comes to the persecution of Christians. So, here is brief reminder from my friend and Sr. Pastor of just what is going on in the world.

Missional Meanderings

Here is yet another chilling account of persecution against Christians.  Keeps things in perspective.

A Christian woman in Sudan reportedly has until Thursday to either recant her faith or face a possible sentence of death.

Meriam Yehya Ibrahim, 27, was convicted by a Khartoum court this week of apostasy, or the renunciation of faith, Amnesty International said Wednesday, a day before the expected ruling. The court considers her to be Muslim.

According to the rights group, she was also convicted of adultery because her marriage to a Christian man was considered void under Sharia law.

You can read the rest here . . . .

View original post

Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: